Last week I went and checked out a new assisted living facility – Morningside House of Leesburg. The people there were very friendly and it looked like a really cute place. There are a few differences there. Morningside appears to be a little smaller than Sunrise. Sunrise has two separate buildings – one for more independent living and one assisted living. Morningside is just one building and residents are intermingled together (no real separation based on level of care needed). I went by myself first to check it out, to see if it would even be worth taking my mom. Whenever I have asked her about her stays at Sunrise, she always tells me that everything was OK, but she did admit to her doctor during a visit that she doesn’t like it. I am not sure if it’s that place or just the fact that she has to be there at all. I am thinking it’s the latter and unfortunately there isn’t much that I can do about that.
After spending about an hour talking with the Director of Marketing, I decided that it would be worth having mom check out. I came home and told her about it and even showed her some of the pictures. I made an appointment to take her in on Friday. The Director of Marketing met us and was wonderful. In addition, the person who is the nurse in charge there and oversees the aides met with us as well. She was able to answer all of our questions and even said some things that I wasn’t quite expecting. She said that all of the aides (CNAs) are trained to walk with the residents using their walkers. The in-home help that we have usually stays away from those kinds of activities because it’s a little to “therapy-like”. I am sure for liability reasons both the therapists and the agencies prefer it that way. Thankfully, one of the caregivers that spends most of the week with mom is over that and does walk with mom and her walker when she wants. My concern about mom being in a facility is that she won’t use the skills she’s developing (like standing or walking). They didn’t do any of that with mom at Sunrise, so I was assuming it would be pretty much the same at Morningside – help them transfer as quickly as possible because they have to move onto the next resident. I was also told that although aides are assigned to specific rooms, they actually operate more as a team. Everyone gets to know all of the residents and if someone needs help and they are available, they will do whatever needs to be done. None of this, “I’ll get your caregiver” business. I have a friend whose mom stayed there for several years and she said that they treated her mom as if she was THEIR mom. That was great to hear. Many of the people working there have been there for several years. Some for 4 years, one for 16! That is very unusual in this line of work.
The most exciting thing about Morningside is the type of room she’ll be staying in. It’s an actual 1 bedroom apartment! Small, but it’s definitely does not have that “nursing home” feel. She has a little kitchenette, living area with room for a small bistro table and chairs, and an actual bedroom with a door! Of course her own bathroom as well. Around the clock care is still available for her and they will do checks on her every two hours (less frequently if she requests it) but hopefully that will give her more of a sense of independence. It’ll be quite a bit more for Chad to move her stuff in but I do hope that this will feel a bit more comfortable for her. The minimum stay here is a month, so she’ll have more time to get to know people and the place and participate in more activities than she does here. I have said before that one of the biggest drawbacks of having her here with us is that it gets terribly boring. She rarely gets visitors anymore and pretty much all she does all day long is watch TV and do word search puzzles. Even I agree that it’s a pretty miserable existence considering how active she was before. I know that she is in denial and does not want to be one of “those” old people but unfortunately we need to figure out a way to make the best of the situation. We’re not planning on having her stay there all 30 days. Chad and I will be out of town for about a week so she’ll obviously need to be there during that time, but we’re planning on doing some back and forth and splitting her time between here and Morningside. It will actually be nice to have an opportunity to just do some running around without having to think about scheduling a caregiver. I’ll be able to watch Sam’s crew practice or run out for a quick errand in the evening. Currently I have to plan all of my activities to the time when a caregiver is here, or I have to plan ahead to make sure that someone is here in the evening. Unfortunately for Sam’s crew activities, it’s not wheelchair accessible so bringing mom isn’t really an option. Pushing her 1/2 mile each way on a steep gravel road to the water where she can’t see anything anyway is not my idea of fun. And I’m sure she doesn’t want to sit in the van in a parking lot for 3 hours either…
We were going to start her outpatient therapy this week but the appointment times we were given were on the early side and would be too stressful. Getting her up and ready out and out the door by 9 is a lot more challenging than you might think. I was able to get an 11:00 appointment time but that meant having to wait another week until that therapist was available. I suppose that ends up actually being not a terrible thing since we’re dealing with a med change that she’s still trying to work though. Unfortunately she doesn’t have a ton of energy at the moment. I am hoping that after another week or so things will improve so she can get back to working hard again. Right now she doesn’t feel like doing much. Not sure if it’s the medication or the trend of her mental state. It’s a challenge either way, that’s for sure.
This week will be pretty low key. Cyndie will be here this weekend to spend some time with her. I’ll get to meet up with Chad and Sam at Whitetail, provided they still hold her snowboarding camp. It’s looking pretty iffy. Temps in the 70s a couple of days this week does not lend itself to great conditions on the mountain. If it’s canceled then we’ll get to spend time with Cyndie too. So not all will be lost. 🙂
If you’re the praying type, please pray this week that mom’s energy and spirits are lifted and that she is able to find the motivation to keep working hard at her recovery.