Everything changed on this date last year. I was really hoping to post a super happy, proud post highlighting all of the things that mom has overcome this last year. Don’t get me wrong – she most definitely has. She’s worked hard and she’s come a long way.
However, here’s the part of the story that gets sad. We have had issues with her insisting on trying to do things by herself. It could be that she’s gotten so much stronger and is gaining control over her body and is showing that she’s on the right track and continuing to improve so she wants to just push herself more than she should. Or, it could be someone asking her why she can’t just do it (yes, I have heard one person actually say this to her). Or friends telling her how much they miss her and wish they could see her but they can’t drive and they cry to her on the phone (yes, this happens too). She wants so badly to dry their tears and console them so she pushes herself to just TRY. Even though those closest to her – family and therapists and a few friends who actually REALLY care about her – have begged and pleaded with her to NOT do those things and ask for help until she is cleared to do them herself, she disregarded it all and did it anyway.
So you know what she got for her one year anniversary of being a stroke survivor? A broken hip! You may be reading this in a slightly sarcastic, funny tone, but I am not writing this from a light-hearted place. This is not a “Oh, that’s just Sue B. She’s always been stubborn and independent”…. Yes – she has been all of those things. But I have other adjectives to describe her behavior. I’m not going to post what I’d really love to (I have a different blog where I post that kind of stuff). I normally try to keep these posts positive and as uplifting as possible. Not just for mom, but because I think that’s what mom’s friends want to see.
Yes – there have been some great things that have happened in the last couple of weeks. Even since I posted last on the 22nd. But as of right now she has taken many, many steps backwards. So on this “stroke-aversary”, I am feeling disappointed and sad. This is most certainly not the mood I wanted to be in today or the post that I wanted to share with you.
She’s more than likely going to have surgery Sunday sometime. Depending on her recovery, the tentative plan is that she will get discharged to a skilled nursing facility for rehab (remember Maple Grove??) possibly as early as Tuesday or Wednesday. No idea how long she will be there. Ultimately she will end up back at Morningside or someplace similar, depending on if she needs a higher level of care.
So there you have it. She’s not celebrating this anniversary in the way that I had preferred. But she’s doing it her way, I suppose. She’s always been the type to do things her way.
Very good job with this post. I am sad, too.